Happiness and Acceptance

I read an article recently about the things you have to let go of to be happy. At first I thought, well duh, letting go of regret would make you happier! Tell me something more obvious, why don't you?

If it were so easy to let go of things--regrets, trying to impress people, living your life by someone else's standards--I'm sure there would be a lot more happy people in this world. I wish the article had said more about how to do. I'm not exactly the Dalai Lama here.

This week is a big one for me. The last week (and projects) of my first year of grad school. I know I'm supposed to be freaking out, staying up all night cramming, eating my weight in greasy foods (ok, I might be doing this last part), all I can think of is. Well. Nothing, really.

I know that these projects are going to get done. I know that I'm going to take my final. And I know that by next Thursday, I'm going to be done with the first year of grad school.

But more than that, I feel different now. I signed up for a fitness boot camp, and I know I'm going to work hard at it this summer. I've accepted what causes my stress and that it's temporary. I've accepted that I'm never going to be a size 2 (this one was difficult). I've accepted that whatever happens, happens.

So maybe the trick isn't letting go, it's just accepting things for what they are and knowing that there are ways to improve the things you don't like.

On Motivation...

Why is it when you age, your motivation starts to lag until it becomes nonexistent? When I was an undergrad, it was like I had all the energy in the world and never felt like I was too stressed to fit it all in. A few things are different now, though.

1) Social Life. Things are different when you're in a new-ish city where you can't just walk places anymore. Events, seeing friends, trips all become these big events where you have to plan parking, mass transit, how you're going to get home alone... Also, you're much more limited in meeting people. It's not as easy to just show up at a club or sport.

2) Limited Activities. Gone are the spur-of-the-moment trips down the Juniata in a kayak or up Mt. Nittany. You can't drive over to Bald Eagle lake, or spend a day walking the rail trail. Forget a leisurely stroll around an empty campus. My neighborhood becomes pretty sketchy at points, and there's basically never any parking anywhere you want to go. Getting anywhere takes forever because there is always traffic at every point in the day.

3) Different Expectations. So you're getting older. Priorities change. You can't afford to spend three hours every day in the gym anymore because you have work. OK, and you work weird hours, so now you have to find time do get homework done. In addition, you no longer have that weekly reason to be in good shape or on top of work. I can't remember the last time I went out dancing. It was such a common occurrence in college, I spent all week working out for that one night.

I guess what it all comes down to is that you have to remember that when your life changes, as you age, your motivation become different too. So I don't go dancing anymore. And I have crazy hard classes I constantly have nightmares about. Why can't I have the same motivation I did when I was 20?

Summer is right around the corner and now more than ever I'm ready to reclaim my life. Find my new motivation. I'll let you know how that goes...

I've Been On Hiatus!

Sometimes fitting in the blog time gets difficult, which is why I've been gone for over a month...

And it's fantastic timing because I've been reassessing my goals and where I am in relation to them. Answer: FAR. But that's ok because the other thing I've been discovering is that I don't need to run towards the finish line. It's not how fast you get there, after all, it's what you learned on the journey there.

And my journey is definitely one of ups and downs. Like most other people in search of happiness, I'm completely self-handicapping. This notion is when you purposefully sabotage yourself so that you get exactly what you expect... there's no variability. I'm guilty of looking for excuses to keep myself from venturing out: it's a fat day, I'm too tired, I don't know if I'll like being around __ for more than ten minutes. We all do it.

There are three weeks of classes left. I'm going to get organized, motivated, and in three weeks I'm going to be prepared to be living so far out of my comfort zone, I'm going to forget what it feels like to hide in it.

The Balance

I spoke about "The Balance" in my last post. This mythical balance that is so hard to achieve, though it sounds like it's a breeze. This is the paradox of The Balance.

I like to think of it more like a teeter-totter, when one side goes up, the other goes down. Sometimes, you're perfectly balanced, and sometimes you're way off kilter. Those balances for me are health and school. Work doesn't factor in so much because I'm a temp and can turn down work if I want to... not so much of a burden in the health/school thing.

When I find the health side is way low to the ground and school is way up in the air (bad for health, good for school), I feel burnt-out and like my brain can't handle simple tasks. On the other side, when health is up and school is down, I feel like (and probably am) falling behind in classes because I'm spending more time maintaining my emotional, physical and mental health.

Today I flipped the balance to work on health. I find that I get caught up in the school-verse and forget to do simple things like eating right or going to the gym.

The weeks I have that teeter-totter perfectly balanced, I feel like a rock star! But lets face it, those days are few and far between.

The key here is time management. I always do better when I have the time thing down and stop with the procrastination. Lately it's been online shopping for summer stuff--a new sleeping pad, a backpacking hammock, water filtration system. Even summer hikes themselves. My new obsession? "Fatpacking."

Almost Over the Rough Part...

Training for my new position was definitely an interesting experience. Basically I do fitness assessments for the schools and take the information back the the Health & Wellness department for their database. Of course, to issue an assessment, you have to be able to do it.

Apparently I have no upper body strength anymore. It's sad in a way because I can still remember being active and athletic, and now I have to start all over! It wouldn't be an issue if I could do girl push-ups, but apparently everyone does normal push-ups now.

I'm reworking some goals because this challenge thing is a dynamic process. The most important part is to remember that it's a marathon, not a sprint. Just gotta keep focus on the end of the semester and how much of a blast this summer is going to be now that I don't have to work 50-60 hours a week! I don't even think I saw the sun last summer.

It's mid-way through March now which means Memphis is on the horizon, and the semester is halfway over! I'm so ready for an adventure.

The Life Stuff

I've put some challenges on hold for the moment. It's all about finding the balance in things to maintain the positivity! Sure, school is slightly overwhelming at the moment, but I just repeat to myself, "This time next week, this stress will be a distant memory," and amazingly, it works.

But this means I haven't had the time to seek out challenges. Although, some have sought me out.

I've finally landed an internship in my field and I'm super excited to get started! This is what I've been working for, and I can't help but feel like the positivity had something to do with it. I get to work in schools with kids on a health and fitness program... and everyone knows one of my favorite topics in public health is childhood obesity. I go for training this week, so updates will follow!

The Vegetarian Tries Again

Take two for the vegetarian cooking! I decided to try this recipe because, honestly? It was colorful. Yes, it's that easy to get me to cook--it just has to be colorful. Total prep time? About an hour. I honestly thought it would be more difficult to find all the ingredients, but it was easier than I thought. But who would have known chili garlic sauce is a common thing to have at Stop and Shop?



Speaking of chili garlic sauce. Fair warning: it is deadly! Stupidly, I realized I was not putting the other ingredients in the mix in the proportions called for on the recipe. So, being me, I said, "You know what's a good idea? Adding more chili garlic sauce! It can't be that bad."

Wrong. Very wrong. This stuff is potent and usable in small doses. It's like someone took all the capsaicin from a hundred jalapenos and put it in this inconspicuous looking jar.



The final product is worth it. The combination of mint, chili, pineapple... well, lets just say the mix works and is really filling. (I blame the spiciness.)